Asking about it usually leaves her sobbing and accusing me of pushing her too far. I want to know why she gets so upset
My partner and I have been together for 18 years and have two wonderful children and a happy life. Our sex life has never been as good as I would like, and this has been a cause of frustration for me. It has become much worse in the past few years. Sex, if it happens at all, is entirely passive for her.
If I ask my partner to talk to me about it, no matter how calmly I try to broach the subject, she quickly becomes hysterical. A few minutes of me trying gently to probe about it usually leaves her sobbing, often rocking in a corner, mumbling to herself and accusing me of pushing her too far. Her reaction is so extreme that I can’t imagine what she is thinking. This is not something I try often, as it is very hurtful for both of us, but I want to know why she gets so upset. The last time I tried to talk, she claimed that sex makes her feel violated. She also said that she isn’t broken and that I just have to accept her as she is, so I don’t think she would go to counselling.