As smooth, immoveable faces of the oncoming social collapse-cum-takeover by a megacorp go, you could do worse than pick Swift
Is this the year we interrogate how truly strange and unusual Prime Day is? Prime Day, in review: a much-hyped, multiple-day shopping event hosted by Amazon, a sort of self-actualising Black Friday when it sells Amazon products for slightly less than it normally does (You got that Echo Dot last year, remember? You keep asking it to play Adele and screaming at it when it doesn’t understand you. Not to prang you out, but Amazon is recording every single one of those screams and will play them back to you, in a megamix, in the Amazon hospital in which you will inevitably die) and then a load of weird crap it is trying to shift off the shelves (“46% off Kärcher Window Vac WV5 Premium!”) to make space for more, I don’t know, worker tents. Anyway, that’s Prime Day.
Why am I sullying your precious celebrity-gossip column about what is in essence a glorified summer sale? Well. Prime Day, sadly, has bubbled and bloated and become so grotesque over the past few years that it is now a star-studded mega-festival of capitalism. By that I mean, obviously, that Taylor Swift is involved. The annual Prime Day Concert aired last night, featuring Swift, Dua Lipa, SZA and Becky G, and was hosted by – just checking my notes, here – ah yes, the “PE teacher from the show Glee”. The concert was exclusive to Prime subscribers, which everyone pretends they’re not but actually are, but was probably watched by next to no one because the interface of the streaming website is horrible. Still, it’s nice, and more than a little dystopian, that they tried.